Everyone is a Critic

My interesting encounter with a 'know it all' diner.

After thoughtfully offering her critique on how we might improve the recipes on every course, even the cocktails, I delivered the entrees. The order was very simple: a broiled steak with salt and pepper, cooked medium rare, split with her companion, and no side dishes or vegetables. All the less for her to offer 'recommendations' to the chef, or so I thought. After delivering and splitting the steak tableside I checked back to see that everything was just as they had ordered. She responded, "Everything is absolutely FABULOUS!!!" I thought to myself, "Wow.....Really?". I tried to scurry away before she could interject. Just as I turned my shoulder to walk away came the inevitable, "But.....". It was as if she had pulled my entire frame around in some sort of a tractor beam that I could not escape despite my best efforts. I turned to inquire about her "But...", she continued, "Well the steak is perfect, but...the Filet cut of beef is usually sooooo tender you almost don't even need a knife. I know because I watch Iron Chef so I'm used to analyzing food and breaking down flavors so I know what I'm talking about." After she pulled the iron chef card I caught myself starring at her with a stunned look of shock and awe as if she had just disclosed that she has a fetish for middle aged midget Mongolian troglodytes. I let her continue at great length her mediocre knowledge of bovine anatomy. After she concluded her thesis of perfecting broiled prime aged beef I interrupted her,"Miss you are exactly correct, the Filet is the most tender cut of beef and will melt in your mouth like butter every time..... However you have ordered the Ribeye this evening. Would you like for me to bring you a Filet, or did you intend to order the Ribeye cut? She declined my offer as well as any further suggestions as to how the chef might 'improve' upon the dishes.